Sunday, February 8, 2015

Henry's story

Tuesday January 6th Brad was checking emails when he came across one of those amazing emails that adoptive couples only get a few of. He had this nervous shaky face as he tells me a couple delivered a baby the day before we were contacted and wanted Brad and I to adopt their little boy. We were stunned, excited, nervous, confused and then excited again. I called George the Birth father right away and spent the next 30 minutes getting details of this sudden placement. Brad and I didn't sleep a wink that night! We woke up early dropped the two kiddos off at Nana's and drove to phx hoping to beat the state CPS caseworker to the hospital. We walked in and spent the next few hours talking to George and his wife Hope Spaun. This little boy was Hope's 8th baby delivery. Both George and Hope made sad choices that didn’t allow them to be recognized as people that were fit to parent. They loved this little boy so much and wanted to be involved with where their son would go. They couldn't keep a baby being homeless and wanted him to have a mom and a dad that could give a baby what he needed. We still haven’t had much exposure to Hope but felt that she was being very honest and forth right with details regarding her mental status with the state. Hope shared with us that she is a practicing Wicken (witch) and has periodic visions of people and hears voices often. By definition the state labeled her schizophrenic and yet she is not on medication for the said condition. Her husband George as well as Hopes mother in law confirmed that she has never had outbursts or angry spells. Because she does have a very real diagnosis she is no longer able to use her med tech training to provide, so work is always an issue between the both of them. When the state diagnosis a patient as schizophrenic they no longer are allowed to be guardians of anything living, meaning plants, animals and obviously children. Little Henry was Georges first baby and placement. All other babies were with different fathers. Signs that Henry was to be ours! I knew at first glance that this was our baby! When I had called my mom Tuesday night to announce our adoption she told me that she had just finished a baby boy blanket that she didn't have a plan for where it was to go! It matches my newly painted nursery and was meant for him. I was shocked and so excited that they were on board with such a quick placement. The night that we received a call from George I had sent an email to our caseworker Marianne informing her of this amazing adoption and asked her to get our home study sent in to the courts ASAP! She replied soon after and had said that earlier that day she had received confirmation that our study was already sent in and approved by the court! I was stunned! I had told Marianne to hold off till Feb to renew and she somehow sent the study in early! The same day we were legally able to take our little man home! Brad and I also had decided to sell our home and relocate closer to family in town just the weekend before we got this great adoption news. The day that George called we also got a very RANDOM call from our financial advisor Kurt telling us that it would be a great idea to refinance our home and we could also get a cash out equity to get us out of debt. We no longer felt like we should move; hours later got a call that we would have a third baby join our family. Brad and I both were speechless. The confirmations were so huge for us with all of our placements but this was just ridiculous. Brad and I feel like Grandma Phyllis is in heaven giving orders and getting the work done and in her motivated way sent us down a little baby just for us. Birth parent and name history George and Hope Spaun have been married for 3 years, George is inactive LDS and is from AZ. Hope we learned is from California and is a wicken in her beliefs. She placed her son out of love and was very grateful to us for being willing to take her son and raise him as our own. She wants everything wonderful for him, but was very detached the whole hospital stay. I just couldn't believe how beautiful our soon to be son was. He has the most amazing temperament and is a very special little boy. Our new addition and our family Henry rarely needs to burp, he always releases gas after eating. He has yet to barf or spit up at all the 3 weeks we have had him. Such a contrast compared to my other two droolers. He loves to be held and always kept wrapped tight and in a burrito. He loves to eat and cant get enough. We go in at 3 weeks for his circumcision. I have noticed some expected struggles with my Brayden and Ruby the second week of having a new baby in the home. Brayden and Ruby love to feed baby and help with diapers and bath time. They know his name and tell everyone about new baby. I have noticed that they have zero patience for me doing hair in the home. The time that was spent on them is now on baby and hair is just not an option unless Brad is here. So far Ruby has wacked our new TV and made holes in the screen, dumped hot chocolate packets everywhere, they both cut chunks of their bangs out, markers all over the house, the pantry has been torn down and DVDS have been tossed. They both also struggle sleeping at night. I think its because they can hear the baby cry for feedings. I as mom have also been floating with this new little prince in our home. I had checked out of the adoption world after the last two scams we endured this summer. I gave all my baby stuff to my sisters who are expecting and I was relieved to have an empty clean closet. Two weeks after gutting the house we get a completely random and very fast call. It has been a struggle on picking the name for him and for us to wrap our brains about being parents to a third baby. It has been such a shock its taking time to understand that its for real. Name on this Earth and upon the records of the Church We were highly encourage by George and Hope to use the name Terry when we were thinking of names. Terry was a very close family friend of George and had just passed away the weekend that Hope went into labor. She was actually contracting at the funeral. I feel that the loss of Terry was understandably very fresh and real. Them asking us to name their baby was definitely an emotional connection to dedicate from the feeling of loss they were dealing with. We agreed with George to have Terry as a nickname for him but Brad and I both feel that its very important in an open adoption to have certain boundaries and opportunities to have a certain disconnect with birthparents and baby. It is for them to have closure and a chance to let go and heal. We decided that Killian was important to us so we can carry on my maiden name. The name Henry came as a suggestion from my family and it stuck. So as of right now we are sticking with Henry Killian Olsen with Hank and Terry as nicknames. Brayden is such a perfect age to understand this whole process, he has been praying for a baby brother to come to our family for months now. When we told him the news he was ecstatic and wanted his name to be John. He insists that he hold him in the mornings and feeds baby brother often. He understands that mommy's tummy doesn’t work and that another mommy placed her son out of love so our family can be happy. I TRULY believe grandma Olsen who recently went to heaven had a huge part in us getting a son. While sick at the end Grandma saw visions of babies joining our family when the veil was super thin. Plus who else could work her magic so fast! She was an amazing saint on this earth and in heaven. Placing out of love. George's mom; Terry's grandmother wanted him to go home in something nice from his birth family. She went to the store and bought a couple outfits and blankets for him. She was so grateful for us and wanted us to know that we were huge in this process. She was so kind and loving to us, esp since it was her first and only grandson. We found out from George that the reason they picked us to adopt was because Brad had quoted a line from the movie STAR WARS and George is a huge star wars buff and he felt that in common and knew we could get the job done. Hope is a huge horse fan and the picture of Brayden and Ruby riding Gomer in our profile had her convinced. She wants so badly for us to raise Henry around animals. When we arrived to the hospital we walked into a room of two people that were so devastated. The couple George and Hope had picked to raise their son had just turned them down. The family from Gilbert prayed and felt like Henry was not their baby. George couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t want this beautiful boy. Recognizing this very real situation from Brad and I both doing the same thing a few times before with other birth moms were able to tell them the spiritual process of a baby coming to our family. We told George and Hope our amazing confirmations and they both knew it was meant to be. Both of them realized that it was all part of Gods plan and the Henry was to be ours. The Hospital. We were taken care of by the most amazing hospital caseworker ever. She found us a room separate from George and Hope and made sure we had drinks and knew what was to be expected. She had an outfit for him to go home in as well and wished us the best. She had nothing but positive things to say to us and supported us as the adoptive couple. The whole 8 hours was a very long day. We had no A/C in our room and it was a room used for storage so it wasn’t very comfortable or clean. The TV was 30 years old and we ate lunch from the cafeteria in the bed. The main nurse was stressed and mean and a few times mouthed off to me. I was so excited and tired and just wanted to get home! After the day of testing we found out Henry passed his hearing tests, has great brain activity, had zero drugs or alcohol in his body and was loved by all his nurses. We used baby selfies of the three to announce that Henry made it officially to our family. Kelsey came at a week and took the most amazing new born pictures. It was the first baby to sleep through a photo session and do what he was suppose to do! We had meals brought in from my sisters,Visiting teachers and good friends. We have had fun visits and everyone loves to get some special baby time with Henry.

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